Here it is.. the end of yet another year... without you. I have accepted the fact that all my years may be years without you. But somehow.. you are always here and you are always with me. You are the ghost in my broken heart and I'm starting to think you may never leave. I cannot stop loving you because our love is immortal in me. But i will heal.. and i will grow.. and i will keep it moving....... because i have to. I need to. This year I woke up and realized that i have been dying inside.. I have been asleep.. living dead. I have pacified my pain and anger and feelings.. and fears.. with bottles, and prescriptions, and people, and places.. for 3 YEARS I have been running away from you and from me...and from everything really. but here i am now.. standing still. I will face this without any of those bandages. I will let the air in and i will let you in...and out. I will tell you who I am and what i am and what i feel and what i've learned. I will tell you about the past and the present and hopefully find my keys to the future. for me.. for you.. and for peace. 2010 is going to be a wonderful year for both of us.. i just feel it.
Love,
Michelle
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